I am a freshman student from one of the top universities in this country. Well, at least I used to be. My first year just ended, but oh man, how I wish could go back in time and turn it all around.
Prior to college, I seemed to have everything sorted out. I knew what I wanted to do when I go to college. I had my set of goals. You know, the typical dreamer kind of thing. I was ready to take on the world.
I wanted to do good in school. I wanted to do so well; I wanted to excel. I wanted my first three terms to end with a bang. I wanted to finish each term with flying colors. Ambisyosa, I know. Well, I can dream. Right? That’s right, I had a dream.
I am a dreamer lost in her own dreams.
We all know how life works, right? Some things just really don’t work out for some. Unfortunately, I am one of those people. My first year in college didn’t turn out the way I always wanted it to be. It didn’t go according to my plan. But I don’t blame life.
I blame myself.
First term, 6 units. The second term came, another unit down. The third, I took one course for granted therefore adding up another 3 units on my list. Less than an hour ago, Math took its toll on me.
There goes my 13th unit of failure.
What went wrong? I did wrong. I wouldn’t say it happened because I’m stupid, but it happened because I made stupid decisions. I didn’t know my priorities. I took my subjects for granted and I put up this YOLO front. I admit, I was pa-cool.
Pa-cool ako, punyeta.
I became too caught up with living up to other people’s standards and I somehow lost the drive, the need and the motivation to actually go out there and do what I had to do; not what they wanted and coerced me to do. I wanted to impress the rest of the world and forgot to prioritize and impress myself. I neglected myself. I became too lazy and too petiks.
Tangina, eto na nga lang tinatamad pa ko tapusin eh.
I don’t even know anymore.
Yup! That’s how it works talaga. You have to finish two terms before you can shift. But I know some people who kasi who changed their programs during confirmation period pa lang.
Anyway, if you’re going to do internal shifting, you probably won’t miss much. If external shifting, then yes, medyo madami rin ‘yun.